Standing on the edge..

Standing at the edge my legs like jelly I tremble, this is not a good idea. Out in front of me is a beautiful expanse of water, it stretches to the horizon and beyond. A flawless golden sun sinks into a pool of golden and crimson light. It  disappears slowly beneath the surface.

I can feel the edge beneath my feet, my toes flex in warm red earth nervously smoothing it into footholds as I concentrate on keeping upright. Inside me there is a battle going on.  My head is screaming ‘turn back, you can’t do this and survive, it’s not you, this will hurt too much.  My heart replies in a small calm voice, ‘this is my destiny, I need this.’

The breeze whips the hair away from my face as I close my eyes. The warmth of the sun slides away leaving me to the coolness of the evening. It’s time.

I fall to a crescendo of strings, my arms flail my legs brace as the slow motion begins. My life plays out in glorious rose-tinted technicolor scenes, birth, childhood, adolescence, teens, twenties, right up until the very seconds before I stood on that precipice and made that decision.

The peaks of the waves are closing the gap quicker than I’d expected, I tense and prepare myself for the inevitable, the end, the failure, the disappointment. Clenching my eyes shut I wait. A few seconds span out, any millisecond now the icy water will connect, seconds become tens and tens half a minute. I am hanging in a strange sort of limbo. I can feel my legs, arms, face, body, my hair is still being tugged at by the elements, it’s still cold. I cautiously open one eye to confirm my suspicion. My face is precisely one millimetre from the surface of the water, so close I can see the reflection of the ragged, weak girl that jumped. I have survived… but how.

Read this Blogpost for me!

IT’S FINALLY FINISHED… my third and final year of university is over. In front of me is a massive world of opportunity, adventure and excitement. All I need to do is be brave enough to take hold of it and jump in. At the moment I feel a little like the girl in the illustration above, I’m stood on the edge of this massive cliff face and it’s up to me whether I jump in and face whatever is thrown at me, or I chicken out and go in a different direction entirely.

Before I go on, the story above is not saying go and find a cliff and jump off – so put down your car keys and lend me your eyes for a moment. It is saying however, that sometimes God places things in our lives that seem impossible and yet he wants us to figure a way around, over or through them. But not without his help.

So you’ve finished uni.. big deal? It is! After being in education from the age of five it’s a massive shock to the system this big new world where more is expected from you. Crossing the divide from the world of a young person to the ‘grown-up’ world of work looks to be a daunting prospect and in all honesty is a bit scary!

Fear is often a factor in anything new and different that we do. Factoring in an unknown quantity to our lives can bring worry and nerves with it. The important thing to remember is not to let worry and fear paralyse us and stopping us from reaching our goals. The Bible mentions worrying countless times telling us over and over not to do it. When we are in Christ we have nothing to worry about.

So easy to say and so much harder to do right?!

Here’s a few verses from around the Bible about worrying:

Matthew 6v25 - Jesus says, ‘Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life; what you will eat or drink, or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes?

Matthew 6v34 – Jesus again says, ‘ Do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

1Peter 5v7 Cast all your anxiety on him (God) because he cares for you.

Philippians 4v6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition present your requests to God.

God says not to worry and I guess this is pretty much common sense what does worrying achieve?

You can’t be courageous without fear, you can’t show strength by not moving, you can’t try something new without stepping out of your comfort zone, but you can do all of this without worrying.

Deuteronomy 31v6 says ‘Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified, the Lord your God is with you; he will never leave you.

Hebrews 13v5 – God has said ‘ Never will I leave you, never will I forsake you’ so we say with confidence. ‘ The Lord is my helper; I will not be afraid, what can man do to me?’

Ultimately God says we don’t have to be strong, we just have to try and sometimes unimaginable strength can come out of our weaknesses because, with God, anything is possible.

2Corinthians 12v9  ”But he said to me, “my grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

Sometimes we need to jump and trust that God will catch us.

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